LinkedinLunatics

a month ago

93

525

Writes a story about a famous programmer -> Adds photo of himself in shades

by

a month ago

9

180

Has 14 years of professional experience of being a Reddit Mod

by

a month ago

13

182

What being gay taught me about B2B sales 🏳️‍🌈👊💵

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TheImpressiveX@lemmy.today

a month ago

14

127

You must answer my random call to be considered!

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ramble81@lemmy.zip

2 months ago

The guy is getting roasted in the comments too, especially about being unfair to NDs

157

288

Here's how you should flirt with my girlfriend

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Drew@sopuli.xyz

2 months ago

A random dude just cold outreached to my girlfriend on LinkedIn.
He went from "Hi" to "I like you"
in less than 5 seconds.

Now, I’m not angry.
She’s damn pretty. Of course people will shoot their shot.
That’s alright.

But if you’re gonna do cold outreach… at least do it right.

Here are the 3 mistakes this guy did that killed his deal.
If you're an agency owner, freelancer or a B2B founder, read this:

//1: Zero rapport building

No context.
No relevance.
No curiosity.

Learn the copywriting principle of AIDA
A - Attention
I - Interest
D - Desire
A - Action

the post continues, but it's too long to alt text

below there's a screenshots of a guy randomly telling a girl that he likes her

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Divine feet

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Drew@sopuli.xyz

2 months ago

No one will reply to you if you start with "Hey, how are you"

you will have to say

[screenshot of linkedin DM]

conveying my most respectful pranaam to your divine feet Natasha ma'am (praying emojis)

7

197

You must go bald to work for me

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Drew@sopuli.xyz

2 months ago

LinkedIn post by Alex Cohen. The text is as follows:

"We raised $22.5M and I still shave my head in the office sink.

You might be thinking, "Alex, can't you do that at home?"

And if you're thinking that, I'd never hire you.

We don't have time to shave at home. We barely have time to shower. That's why every employee now shaves their head at this same sink, with this same razor, just like me.

The time savings compound:
- Invest 3 minutes in shaving your head once a week
- Save 5 minutes washing your hair in the shower each day
- Gain 32 minutes of leverage per employee per week (time for a 30 minute demo and 2/3 of your next shave)

If you think this is crazy, you've clearly never heard of Occam's Razor.

If you think this is crazy, you're not going to make it."

below there is a picture of a guy shaving his head in front of a sink with a hand razor

37

294

LinkedIn is life

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KyuubiNoKitsune@lemmy.blahaj.zone

2 months ago

78

584

SPLT: You can also put a chip reader on your pocket and casually bump into people.

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jqubed@lemmy.world

2 months ago

Crossposted from https://slrpnk.net/post/30824702

2

144

Thought they were in on the joke at first...

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glandrid@lemmy.ca

2 months ago

Technically this is a Kijiji lunatic, but I thought this community would appreciate it nonetheless.

3

-4

Economic growth is when you miss funerals

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Drew@sopuli.xyz

3 months ago

LinkedIn post that says "Gen z will change India's toxic work culture! OR maybe they will just stop India's economic growth fueled by hard work! you decide.

below there is an exchange on a messaging app between a client and an employee where the client is asking the employee to come to work even though their uncle died, and the employee gives a long response about how life doesn't wait for work.

73

570

Rest is a legacy feature I had deprecated

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potoooooooo ✅️@lemmy.world

3 months ago

95

497

Kyle is grateful he didn't have to whoop some ass

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potoooooooo ✅️@lemmy.world

3 months ago

30

156

Successful People don't second-guess, they just modify their plans when appropriate.

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fckreddit@lemmy.ml

4 months ago

6

73

Why do you use what I gave you?!

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ramble81@lemmy.zip

4 months ago

1

14

People paid him to speak on the vagaries of daily job?

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kirk781@discuss.tchncs.de

5 months ago

The money is in INR (Indian National Rupee) and 45 thousand will approx get you a Pixel 9a. So,there is that for comparasion :p

0

4

Indiscriminate use of emojis apart...

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biofaust@lemmy.world

5 months ago

0

12

And then he showed his courage by... deleting his account

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.Donuts@lemmy.world

5 months ago

0

7

Go above and beyond

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5 months ago

0

12

Think I'll get a callback?

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oyo@lemmy.zip

6 months ago

0

9

Million dollars

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kirk781@discuss.tchncs.de

6 months ago

Is this a roundabout way of saying that they wish to hire folks on a short term basis, make them work really hard, pay pennies on the dollar and then fire them?

0

7

Stop complaining, just get back to work

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Prontomomo@lemmy.world

6 months ago

0

7

Eat your heart out, Einstein.

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6 months ago

0

9

Just for "Elon has it always right"

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wander1236@sh.itjust.works

6 months ago

Samer Bechara 3rd+Finding my voice by being real, so you can fin...2dElon Musk hinted software developers will become jobless soon. He believes software should be built using simple text prompts. Just like we generate images and videos now.He stated this in one of his interviews, and soon enough Grok will have this feature.Elon has it always right. This time I am not sure. As more people start building software, they will create more bugs. Regular users will create software, developers will focus on fixing bugs rather than building new features.This reminds me of when WordPress was released. It created more jobs for developers than it actually took away.

0

6

Healthiest LinkedIn relationship

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6 months ago

0

8

When the bullet dodges you

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6 months ago

0

8

"Because sometimes, putting yourself first is the move."

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javasux@lemmy.world

6 months ago

0

10

‘Fly economy for fun’: US founder trolled for frugality post after she's accused of stealing millions

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ThorrJo@lemmy.sdf.org

6 months ago

0

7

So grounded. So humble.

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6 months ago

0

10

People really do post the most unhinged stuff in order to gain visibility.

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bumblefumble@mander.xyz

7 months ago

0

5

If you don’t want to be poor you should simply become rich

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7 months ago

0

7

"Superior" level

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7 months ago

2

5

Youth loneliness is cured by Adults going into the office

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7 months ago

0

3

Therapy

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Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net

7 months ago

0

3

Imagine letting a stranded stranger stay with your family and they make a public joke about screwing you

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Drew@sopuli.xyz

7 months ago

if you didn't sleep with an investor yet

u're cooked

Hold up, let me explain:

I was at the airport, flight cancelled and had

nowhere to go.

Fighting my social anxiety, I decided to talk to other strangers from the same flight.

Next thing I know is a mom invites me to stay at their place for the night.

We had dinner, talked then went to sleep (had my own bed)

In the morning, I found myself having breakfast with the whole family.

Then I discovered her husband worked at IBM and now invests in Al startups. We started yapping like craazy about Al, investments and such, the conversation was really fruitful, and I got to see how an investor actually spends their morning lol.

None of this would have happened if i didn't force myself to talk to strangers

Being curious is fun, who knows what can happen if you just say "Hi" to someone.

What's the craziest opportunity you've found just because you decided to talk to a stranger?

Photo of the OP next to a woman

0

4

Techbro when Germans complain about heat: 😡 Techbro when Ukrainians get bombed: 😍

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slaacaa@lemmy.world

7 months ago

0

4

LinkedIn needs to be quarantined from the rest of the internet

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7 months ago

0

4

What could this formula be?

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Drew@sopuli.xyz

7 months ago

Antrepreneur

Hello sir
Sir, I have such a formula that can help the electric bike and car travel a long distance. Electric vehicles can get rid of the need by charging it again and again. Charge the electric vehicle once a week or not. Go as much as you can go. It is based on an technology which is not yet available in the market. We have a lot that will make it and this is not possible without you, I know that millions of people msg you and you have not time too., but still there is a request from
you, please give me only 10 minutes of your precious time.
And sir, I want to apologize for msging you in the comment box, but sir, I am not finding any way to contact you, that's why I am messinging you in the comment box.
I want to explain the whole formula to you if you give permission
Because here the formula will change the world of electric vehicle.

1

3

Sending assault threats via an account linked to your face and name is wild

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Drew@sopuli.xyz

7 months ago

I have no idea who Shivansh Chauhan is, but I do know that he's very upset that his friend Tanishq Maheshwari wasn't select for GSoC this year.

I will spare you all the violent and vulgar translation, but instead will share my scoring of his message. I give him:

4 out of 10 for creativity

3 out of 10 for accuracy (I will die someday and I am ginger).

0 out of 10 for grammar

0 out of 10 for effectiveness

for a 1.75 overall.

(Image of DM from Shivansh Chauhan with death and assault threats in Hindi while calling OP a ginger)."

Let me know if any of you want a translation lol

0

3

Visions In My Head

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Rayquetzalcoatl@lemmy.world

8 months ago

0

5

Office Fling

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pastermil@sh.itjust.works

8 months ago

0

7

Be aware of your people's worth

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8 months ago

0

4

Is ThIs ThE hArDeSt PaRt Of ThE jOb?

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HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com

9 months ago

0

4

Cheaper than student loans!

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