Not The Onion

An armed rhino poacher in South Africa’s Kruger National Park was trampled to death when a herd of elephants charged as he lined up a shot for the animals’ lucrative horns

Donald Trump on Sunday called on Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy to halt strikes on Russian diesel, saying the attacks are causing a fuel shortage.

Another article about the same case makes this smell even more like The Onion: https://www.mtvuutiset.fi/artikkeli/vanhempansa-pakastanut-mies-perustelee-tekojaan-jopa-muinaiset-faaraot/9391918

GRAPHIC VIDEO: A pervert was arrested for allegedly having sex with his neighbour’s koi fish.

HUNTSVILLE, Ala. (WAFF) - A Huntsville police officer is back in the Madison County Jail after being arrested for the third time in less than a month.

He did not say where the money would come from.

“As part of these events, the airline had also planned an aircraft flyover, a meaningful gesture to honor the memory of those lost within the pilot community, but will suspend those plans due to concerns in the community and instead carry on with the other events of the day,” spokesperson Russell Carlton said in an email.

One attendee shouted: “Play some music!” Others in the crowd were loving it. Burnley kept going, telling the audience to wait for his new update to drop before downloading the mod.

I mean, I'm glad Tesla built a fix, but it's sort of tacky to ship a $75,000+ truck and then sell the fireproofing separately.

The Hollywood theme park built a “whisper quiet” ride to avoid angering nearby neighbors. They didn’t fully account for the enthusiasm of the riders.

A female Marine interviewed by Military Times said low testosterone can occur in women but can be harder to identify because women normally have much lower testosterone levels than men.

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — A New Mexico man was arrested after allegedly shooting and killing his cousin during an argument over whose plate of green chile enchiladas was hotter.

The USS Lincoln is docking close to Pattaya, known for its raucous nightlife, and for sex tourism.

The FBI previously refused to hire job applicants if they admitted to hiring sex workers or stealing from an employer — or engaging in acts of bestiality.

Former Microsoft exec explain how a behavioral psychologist utilized Fitts’s law to place the Windows 95 Start button in the bottom-left.

This could win the Ig-Noble prize!

Are we eating enough plastic already?

The United States has threatened to oppose Britain’s sovereignty over the Falkland Islands if Andy Burnham does not increase defence spending, The Telegraph can reveal.

WASHINGTON, Aug 27 (Reuters) - U.S. President Donald Trump renamed Lake Ontario “Lake America” on Thursday, escalating a feud with Canada that has already ​spawned tariffs on tens of billions of dollars in cross-border ‌trade.

That’s disappointing 😔. Make more friends!