Central Asia Deathmatch was wild (ArchonOfFlesh)

submitted by Meme Curator

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Central Asia Deathmatch was wild (ArchonOfFlesh)
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by Meme Curator OP depth: 1

Explanation from artist:

Central Asia/Middle East during this time was wild.

Babur was a descendant of Timur the Lame who inherited the throne of Fergana (in modern day Uzbekistan). He tried to conquer Samarkand and then lost Fergana. He returned and tried to take back Fergana only to lose Samarkand to the Uzbek prince Shaybani. Yeah, this went on for a while. He escaped to Kabul, forging an alliance with the ascendant Shah Ismail of Iran to retake Samarkand.

Ismail killed Shaybani and made a wine goblet out of his skull, then proceeded to kick Babur out of Central Asia. Babur ran away to India where he founded the Mughal Empire, while complaining all day about how he hated India and wished he could go home. Ismail, drunk on delusions of being a divine hero, went against the modernised army of Selim I of the Ottoman Empire and lost brutally. Ismail ran away and fell into depression, drinking himself to death and never leading an army again.

Selim, after subduing Iran, proceeded to go south to beat the crap out of the Mamluk Empire. By the time of his death, he was the clear winner of the Islamic ruler gauntlet match and was declared Caliph.


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